Phew. Its been a minute.
Turns out writing, reflection and putting together sentences don’t go hand in hand with having 3 small children home every day for the summer while you’re packing up one house, and remodeling another one.
Oh right, this is the perfect time to tell you….. we FINALLY bought a house!
We got the keys on the 4th of July and I have pretty much been spinning right round like a record player ever since then.
Both of my hands were needed in this juggling act, thus I took a break from the blog, writing, and
my sanity creativity in general.
But buying a house is supposed to be exciting right?!?
I suppose like anything I expected to feel one way (complete elation and unending joy) and was both surprised and embarrassed to feel, well……. differently……. (overwhelmed, unsettled, undeserving and freaking EXHAUSTED by the process).
The excitement and toasting and sketching out plans is all fun and games until one of you is brave enough to say out loud what both of you are thinking……
“Alrighty…….now we just have to MOVE. “
Moving is hard. Change is hard.
I realized with this shuffling and shifting of all of the things…. how much of my happiness is wrapped up in a warm blanket of routine and predictability. How much of my daily joy and peace was weaved in with my string bean vines, rooms that smell like us, peony blooms and evenings with my hose.
Moving is not a warm blanket.
It is making phone calls. Having meetings. Signing papers. Buying packing tape. Painting walls. Putting things in boxes. Crying with your face buried in your baby’s crib sheets because at the new house he will be sleeping in a big boy bed. It’s saying goodbye to rose bushes. Neighbors. Empty rooms that now sound all echo-y and weird. It’s scheduling floor installations and getting mad at Ron because he didn’t talk to Nate and now here John is with the wrong floors and oh, no, actually we cant just live without floors for another 3 weeks. It’s paying a babysitter so you can drive to the new house while your kids are sleeping to tear out a wall and paint cabinets. It’s feeling bad that your kids drew on the walls. It’s rearranging your whole life.
It was a summer of rearranging.
But now we are here.
And isn’t it lovely?
It’s everything we dreamed of and more.
It is where our boys will grow up.
With space to roam, trees to climb, dirt to dig in, and rooms to laugh in.
We will grow food here, and flowers and magic.
And finally now….. as I snuggle up in my sweater with my laptop and a cup of coffee…. I begin to write again.
The leaves outside are changing colors and starting to fall…. The things in my life are starting to fall into place again, as well.
The boxes are slowly being unpacked.
Paintings are getting hung, then hung again somewhere else.
Rooms of the house are looking like we live in them. Not just exist in them…. but live in them.
I walk around and look out our windows and smile.
Sunlight streaming in and the wood floors feeling warm.
The boys are back in school.
The rhythm of our life is beating again in our house.